Posted by
• 11.16.12 10:07 am

Okay, it’s been a week and I’m still mad about that guy going to jail for the anti-Muslim film. I’m actually more mad at you for not being mad. “He’s not going to jail for making a movie that embarrassed this administration” you tell me “he’s going to jail for violating his parole.” Really?

Then why was the government guaranteeing us a prosecution before they even knew who he was? You know deep down that he was arrested for offending people and you don’t give a shit. I mean, when Pussy Riot go to jail, that’s one thing. They didn’t go into a mosque. But this guy used a fake name and that violated his parole so fuck him. Have you seen what happens to infidels who don’t use fake names? They get a rapier in the chest. Here’s the problem with being smug when people get arrested: You’ve committed dozens of felonies in the past year alone. If the authorities decide you’re annoying, you’re going to jail. Shit, you might go to jail just because you’re there. Will you get all sanctimonious about parole violations when it’s you that’s on parole?

You’re up, me.

This Country Is Going to Jail

Last week we learned that the guy who made that anti-Muslim film is going to prison for a year. It is apparently now illegal to embarrass this administration. What I find even more shocking is the apathy my friends express. Their shrugs would make Atlas blush. They tell me he’s an idiot who deserved to go to jail because he violated his parole. These are people who probably smoked a joint yesterday and have committed a handful of felonies in the past week, but all of a sudden they’re sanctimonious about parole violations.

I don’t think these people honestly believe he got what he deserved. I think they’re pretending it was legit because to ponder that we are a nation under arrest is too scary. I find their apathy scarier, because if we don’t stand for something, we’ll fall for anything.

When violating the filmmaker’s civil rights didn’t stick, the feds kept digging until they found a charge. They could do this to any of us because they’ve made everything illegal.

Here in New York guns are so illegal, you can go to jail for having a paintball gun. A Manhattan storeowner just got fined $30,000 for stocking toy guns. Down the street from him, a bagel store was fined for letting crumbs hit the floor. A bodega near my house got a $20,000 fine for selling vanilla-flavored cigars. The city claims that such cigars make smoking attractive to kids, but the storeowner told me that a “city-certified vendor” had sold them to him.

I once went to jail for head-butting a guy who had struck a woman for firing him from his job. I never called the cops but he jumped into the back of a cop car to escape a beating and after he got out of The Tombs, he pressed charges.

It’s hard to find someone who hasn’t spent a few days in The Tombs in New York. Former Mayor Giuliani’s zero-tolerance policies mean everyone’s subject to arrest, even his daughter. I know of several people who were sent to The Tombs for smoking a joint in an alley. I also knew one poor bastard who spent three days down there because he was selling pants from his stoop. I recently went to court for urinating in public (at three in the morning in an abandoned industrial part of town), and you should have heard the charges in that courtroom. One kid was in front of the judge for littering. He had allegedly thrown some paper on the ground.

The cops, lawmakers, lawyers, judges, and politicians are running the show. If they don’t like the cut of your jib, you’re going to jail. Sometimes, they do like the cut of your jib and you go to jail anyway.

When a man named Weldon Angelos was sentenced to 55 years for selling marijuana in Utah, the judge who sentenced him said the law was “unjust, cruel, and irrational.” That’s the scariest thing. Yes, it’s chilling to see a filmmaker go to jail because he offended someone, but often people go to jail not because the authorities have a problem with him but because some random guy does.

When a seafood importer lost out on a bid for a lobster contract in Alabama, he sent an anonymous fax to the Fish and Wildlife Service claiming that Abner Schoenwetter, the guy who got the bid, was using the wrong container. Turns out Honduras had recently decided you have to ship lobster tails in bags, not boxes. Soon after the tip, officials from the FBI, IRS, National Marine Fisheries, and Customs stormed his place and threw him in jail FOR SIX YEARS! He lost his business, his family, and everything.

The revenge war is almost as serious as the drug war. An ex-con recently told me I would be horrified to see how many men are in jail for getting in an argument with their girlfriend. Often a girlfriend will get a restraining order during a breakup. Later, the couple will make up and he’ll move back in with her. The next time they get into an argument, she calls the cops and he’s going to jail for violating the restraining order.

This is a subject where both Democrats and Republicans are equally guilty. Democrats like it when someone goes to jail for offending Muslims, and many Republicans have no problem with pot smokers going to jail. It seems libertarians are the only ones getting mad here. Everyone should be furious about this because when everything is illegal, anyone can go to jail. Police need to justify their jobs and with no lawbreakers there’s no need for enforcement.




  1. agentmule says:


    With apologies to the Clash, when they kick at your front door there is no escape. They can make anyone they want go to jail. Anytime. That’s why once upon a time I bitched in these very internet pages about the US government pretending KSM* could ever be found innocent in Federal Court.


  2. duh says:

    Gavin, considering I don’t like coke, what felonies have I probably committed?

  3. M. David Enriquez says:

    Hear, hear

  4. Do cops get bonuses for reaching a quota on how many people they lock up? I’m ignorant of this because I’ve still somehow avoided the slammer despite committing a decent amount of crimes I’ve never been caught for. The one time I came close was seven years ago. I had a bench trial in which all witnesses obviously lied identifying me (describing a bald, overweight middle-aged man, yet said I — the full head of hair, skinny nineteen year-old was the person they saw.) They threw half of them out, the judge even said I likely wasn’t the one they saw but instead of throwing out the case, or judging me innocent he dropped the serious stuff and gave me “Adjudication Withheld” for trespassing. Giving me probation for half a year in hopes of possibly catching me slipping so they could rack up another slab of meat to box in. The whole system is obviously out of control, America’s incarceration numbers alone put up against the rest of the world combined is insane. Land of the free… ride directly to jail.

  5. raymi says:

    People just generally don’t like to make a fuss and if it doesn’t concern them they don’t have to.

  6. Gavin says:

    Depends what state you’re in. Here’s New York…

  7. rara oh la la says:

    Didn’t he go to jail mainly for a previous outstanding crime?

  8. pantagruel says:

    this week: everyone is going to jail because of the liberals!
    next week: not enough people are in jail because of the liberals!

  9. ZOMBIEGOP says:

    Where to start..How did they know he made the vid on the Utube? He used a username and not his real name. That lead them to an email addy. Still not his real name. The amount of effort and time to find him and then say his username was an alias just so they could arrest him for breaking his parole is beyond stupid. Careful what u say about the rioters without a cause. Damn PC law is awesome…

  10. Hornblower's Ghost says:

    @rara oh la la, yeah he violated his parole twice in 2011, using fake names to try to obtain a passport to flee the country.

  11. RED says:

    “If he violated his parole, he deserves to go to jail.”
    -person who’s committed way more crimes than this guy and has no idea what he did.

    Also, if he has parole, that means he’s already been prosecuted for the bank fraud thing. If you love the law so much accept that they got him right the first time and this arrest is solely about violating his parole by using an alias which he had to do if he didn’t want to get stabbed.

  12. Anonymous says:

    i have a direct family member incarcerated revolving around something heinous, and no one in their right PC mind ever wants to talk about it, because it is terrible. But since this article is somewhat related and I can be anonymous maybe someone will actually agree or not completely roll their eyes and say whatever.

    This family member is/was a sex addict, and used the internet to make connections for a consentual sexual encounter with an underage person. This is disgusting, something none of our family knew of, and were horrified to learn on the night of the arrest. I will say now that in no way do I think what was done is okay, or even 100% consentual because of age, but it is my firm belief that this was not a predatory/rape situation.

    Consentual contact with a minor is a state offense that will get you pegged a sex offender, and time in jail. Anywhere from 90 days to 3 years is what I was told. When fam member was busted, another person was arrested for ‘meeting’ with the same minor. That person was incarcerated for 90 days.

    Since my family member used the internet to make a meet up, and to share an image of a dick to that minor, it became a federal charge that came with it a mandatory minimum sentence of 12 years to life. Using the internet constitutes crossing state lines.

    How many XXX sites are as we speak, transmitting smut and gagging and gaping to adolescents all over this country right now?

    Many of you might be saying that “well fuck that perv… he deserves that and all the rape he can handle +100 in prison.” I suppose, when I was at my most disgusted and horrified, I may have… No, I never could wish that on anyone, especially a family member. But I just want to point out that actually meeting a minor to get down earns you at most 3 years, while emailing a cock to that same person gets you at least 12. The town cops also literally stole my family member’s vehicle, which they first said they could justifiably do because the meet up happened inside it. When it was shown that wasn’t the case, they said they’d return it. On the sentencing date the defense attorney actually asked the question of when the vehicle would be released to the family aloud in court, and the cops/lawyers/judges got quiet and said it wasn’t happening, that the car was already gone, and in use by the department.

    I hate this family member a lot of the time. They ruined my family pretty bad, and even though years have now passed (not released yet… they got 12 years, again, for IM’ing a dick pic) and the rest of us are ‘better’ and have moved on in some ways, we are still unable to actually process all that has happened. Look, for the sake of brevity I am

  13. annonymous says:

    How do you feel about Charles Manson?

  14. Anonymous says:

    Stick to complaining aboot your own shit box country you snow drift monkey tim hortons moose fucker.

  15. Gavin says:

    Exactly, sending a dick pic is gross and that guy should be ashamed of himself – 12 years in jail ashamed? Uh, no. I don’t think these assholes realize how long ONE year in jail is. 12 years = 20 to 32. That’s your formative years completely gone. Before you scoff at this poor bastard, run back all the stupid shit you’ve done when you were wasted and how it could possibly be misinterpreted by the law. After you do that, try to fathom what percentage that is of presently incarcerated North Americans. Drug crimes aren’t just people busted for selling pot. It’s all the stupid gangs created by the fake market drug prohibition entails. We’re all happy to hurl stones at prisons as we rest safely in our glass houses.

  16. Beef says:

    Thanks for this, Gavin.

  17. Caffeine says:

    I spent 18 days in jail. I was almost stabbed for using the wrong phone. 12 years is a lifetime. My uncle has spent the majority of his life in jail and has another 10 to go, he’ll be released when he’s 53. I can’t even imagine what happens to someone’s brain that been locked up that long!

  18. waitwhat says:

    This is a much more articulate, refined piece compared to last week’s rant. Including mandatory minimum sentencing, Giuliani’s NYC police state, and examples of other folks who are getting fucked by the system makes for a more balanced stance than “the cool black liberal who tricked you into reelecting him prez is to blame” angle. The present situation is a product of decades of fear mongering and overreaction from both the right and the left.

    I don’t think its a question of Obama being cooler than Romney, we know the answer to that already. Who is less scary? Who has more to hide? Who had a consistent message throughout the campaign?

    As for the video’s director I still think if you’re a convict with conditions who makes a point of shit disturbing while violating those conditions you’re getting the trouble you asked for. Like pot “activist” Mark Emery, for instance. Yeah, the laws and sentencing regarding drugs in North America is scary and out of control and deserves more attention, but smoking weed on the steps of police stations across Canada while you illegally ship contraband across international borders doesn’t make you a hero; you’re still a rich pothead who is probably going to jail.

  19. C and the MS-13s says:

    How many Hollywood people will defend him as a filmmaker?……zero.

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