Posted by
• 11.29.11 08:58 pm

Well, we didn’t expect Zimbabwe to take the lead in the international fight for gender equality…

Well, we didn’t expect Zimbabwe to take the lead in the international fight for gender equality, but the land ruled by evil tinhorn dictator Robert Mugabe—not to mention his tres tacky mustache—is setting a new standard for women’s rights almost as refreshing as the films Fried Green Tomatoes and Waiting to Exhale.

On Monday three Zimbabwean women (Zimbabwomen?) went on trial for 17 counts of “indecent assault” as part of a giddy spree where they injected men with boner-enhancing drugs and then raped them—shattering their hearts, dreams, and futures in the process. The women would force the men to wear condoms and collect their semen in the little rubber balloons to be used later in magical wealth-enhancing ceremonies.

According to one male victim: “One of the women threw water in my face and they injected me with something that gave me a strong sexual desire.

And another: “I feel violated and disappointed, because when I told my wife what happened, she left me, together with one of our three children. I’m hoping that she will come back.”

Police refused to estimate the number of cases, and some speculate that the epidemic is under-reported because men tend to feel ashamed when women rape them.

  1. pogi says:

    Instead of prisons, we should just send men rapists to Zimbabwe. BOOM! problem solved!

  2. clif says:

    you got my vote

  3. Daniel says:

    @pogi Fucking right.

  4. Drippy Dog Dix and Cum Bubbles or Something says:

    Its been too long since we had a solid rape-off.

  5. Anonymous says:

    whoa magic!

  6. blaahus poopus says:

    Next time ol’ poopus is having a long love dryspell–guess I know where I’ll be going. Do they have any good “If you can’t get laid in Zimbabwe…” jokes yet?

  7. weasel, but most likely stoat says:

    An excuse for fucking other women that is backed up by the courts. I got raped by a prostitute once, she also stole my money, but because I live in a “civilized” country I was the cunt. We could learn a thing or two from Zimbabwe. Mostly rape law.

  8. basher al assad says:

    it’s either my way or the zimbobway!

  9. Goat My Sampson says:

    my teacher touched my wee wee in preschool

  10. Uncle Wah Wah says:

    In Zimbabwe, the vaginas are prisons holding your dignity like a pawn ticket. Viagra is the true currency. The men are helpless, their penises robbed of their manhood. They turn to monkeys for love with honor…

  11. tgcrjhfg says:

    What did the women inject the guys with to make them horny?

  12. taco puncherface says:

    one ticket to Zimbabwe please!

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